My Comfort Zone

Today, I went to one of my most visited places, the hospital. My home away from home, I’ve never been uncomfortable with hospitals before. In fact, the friendly smiles from nurses and odd glances from strangers are familiar. In a way the hospital is my comfort zone, but not today.

I was with my family going to visit my great grandmother. She has water on her lungs, a really bad heart, has gone blind, and will turn 85 in October.

She is an amazing person, extremely kind, but also very sassy. “You should know, I’m a character” She loves to say.

To give a little background, she is my dad’s grandma and since my dad’s father passed away when I was a baby they’re really close.
Like REALLY close, he goes to visit her every day for lunch and she even calls him “the golden child.”

Anyways, today when I went to visit her, she looked terrible. She can barely talk and her eyes are almost swollen shut.
By the time we got her sat up and were having a conversation I felt sick. Emotionally, mentally, physically sick.

I grabbed my mom’s purse to get a piece of gum, and my grandma said, “You came to visit me and you’re getting you’re phone?”
“No grandma, I’m getting some gum.”
I then proceeded to roll the wrapper around in my fingers until it was almost black and see-through.

Then the guys from the hospital came to give her the sacrament (something from our religion), and during the prayer I started crying and nearly bit through my lip. 
Before we left, my dad took some pictures and she kept worrying about her hair 🙂
She made us all grab her hand and told us she loved us. Which I’m pretty sure was a goodbye.

I don’t deal well with goodbyes, I hate goodbyes.

-AKA Aspen

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