Why? The only question left unanswered, and the only one they want.

They already knew where, but that didn’t matter because the only place it stayed was in their minds.

They already knew when, but they didn’t care because it’s with them all the time.

They already knew how, but it wasn’t important because they only knew how they would never be able to forget it.

They already knew what, but it didn’t answer anything. The what started sounding like why. “What would make them do this?” “What could’ve stopped it?”

What?   What?    Why?    Why?   Why?   Why?  WHY?!

Why would you do what you did? Why did it happen how it did? Why did you choose to do it then? Why did you do it there? Why not here? Why not now? Why not like this? Why that?

Why… not at all?



The Miranda Sings Award!

Hey y’all! How have you guys been? My day has been… eventful. I woke up unable to move my back and it still won’t move so I’ve been walking around like a robotic video game character since I can’t turn XD

Anyways, I was nominated by the beautiful  Claudia for this award!

Phonto (15)

Here are the rules:

-Link the blogger who nominated you

-Add the featured image

-Nominate 10 (or as many  as you can think of) bloggers to do this award

-List 7 things you love about yourself

-Don’t use negative connotation (Pretty smart, okay at this, I guess, etc.)

(Before I start, may I say how wonderful of an idea this is?!)


  1. I like how I can be the powerful one that has the ability to take charge and keep track of everything.
  2. I can cycle. Within 5 months where I spent a little more than one month on crutches, I did a 100 mile race. And for the last ten miles, my tendon in my thigh was torn.
  3. I’m really good with kids. I love children, especially my cousins. We’re all super close, and I love being their role model.
  4. I’m smart. I care about relevant topics around the U.S and the rest of the world, and I can learn easily.
  5. I’m adventurous! I’ll take opportunities to experience something and take risks.
  6. I can write. I love doing this, and I know I have a talent at being able to feel things so strongly I can put them on paper.
  7. I can assess situations and realize the best action to take. Sometimes this is having a breakdown, and sometimes this is handling something by taking a deep breath and moving forward.

I nominate:

Tristan and Colby

A Very Awkward Blogger



Life of Blind




It’s midnight and my medicine is kicking in, so these are all my nominations.

Love y’all and hope you guys have a good week 🙂






Let It Burn

This is a response of sorts to the post Liv, my blogging twin wrote. Check it out here, it’s SO good!

If you’re tears burn like liquified flames carving their own selfish pathways down your cheeks, let them have their wicked way.

Let them encase all of you’re being until every ounce of sadness inside of you is only ashes. Memories of what used to be.

Let it burn until there is nothing left to keep the fire going. 

Sometimes when you’re stomach is empty of happiness, you’ll feel the ashes rise.

You’ll began to cough up embers of the past, leaving the ashes floating in front of your face. Staring at you mockingly, watching to see your face recoil in pain.

The ashes will twirl into a vortex towards you’re throat when you breathe in. And as they touch your tongue, they’ll spark.

Old memories ready to burn you all over again.

But I won’t let that happen.

I’ll reach my arms around your neck and pull you close. And the fire will be smothered.

-Aspen AKA The Girl Who Makes Poetry Out Of Pain


Hey y’all! So this is more of an update post seeing as I have quite a bit to tell you 🙂

So first off, I’m taking my driving permit test tomorrow. I should’ve taking this a long time ago seeing as I turned 15 more than 6 months ago, but long story short, I hate driving. It’s terrifying. I CLEARLY cannot even be liable for my own life, let alone anyone else’s. I should be studying, but most of this is just common sense…..

Second off, I’m on a cello ban. El doctor said that I can’t play until my next appointment which is actually this Saturday, but I already miss playing…  Ahhh guys he (yes, he) is so gorgeous! I miss being able to play normal. And I hate pulling the “hurt” card, but there are a whole bunch of people in my class that are complaining about having to play. Sometimes I’d really like to send them a nice wrapped gift of peripheral neuropathy and take the feeling in their hands in return. Then we’ll see how much they complain about doing something they CHOSE.

Oh and as some of you may know, I almost drowned two nights ago. When the pain gets really bad, my body will knock itself out and kind of convulse because the pain will fight even harder as a reaction. I’m supposed to be put on seizure medication along with everything else too…. But anyways, I was taking a bath when my body decided it was “lights out” and I woke up however long after choking and coughing up water. If I had fell literally less than an inch farther I would’ve been gone. But I’m assuming it would have been more permanent than the times my heart stops.

Long story short, I was terrified. Uggh guys I’ve just been getting really scared lately. I thought that waking up to not being able to move my legs was terrifying, and it was. But this was way worse. I’m used to my heart, but now I can’t do literally (yeah I mean it) anything without wondering if I’ll still be alive in the next few minutes.

I know people say to live like it’s your last moments, but I’m getting really overwhelmed of living like it is. The constant pain is literally ripping me apart and now it’s started to hurt… mentally too.

I go to the doctor on Saturday again and then I have a neurologist appointment in the beginning of February. If you want me to keep you guys updated, let me know.

I love y’all. Goodnight…..

My Favorite Book!

Hey y’all! So I was thinking about books and writing for obvious reasons and decided that my favorite book needed more recognition on a writing blog than just a title. You might be wondering what this book may be, so I will tell you eventually….

Just like many other people, I love Dr. Suess. And his book, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go” is my favorite book!

Last year in 9th grade we had to write college application essays and the prompt I found was to write about your favorite book. This is my essay:


As a second grader, I liked to start at the end. Whether it was with homework, a

list of chores, books, or dessert. So when I read, “Oh, the places you’ll go” it wasn’t only

the colorful pictures that stood out to me, but the last paragraph, too. Now I wasn’t

Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or even Moredecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea, but I wanted to

move mountains and get on my way. Admittedly, the first thing I did was not move

mountains or even help my mom, but find a dictionary to see what “dexterous and deft”


As I grew, my idea of moving mountains transformed like a malleable object,

molding to my life like clay. At ten years old, all I cared about was school, and playing

with my friends. Oh, the places I went! There was fun to be done! There were points to

be scored and games to be won, and the magical things I could do with that ball or my

brain, made me the winning-est, winner of all, or so I thought. In reality my biggest

accomplishments were winning basketball games and spelling bees, but for me that

was enough.

Regardless, I became so confused in the midst of sixth-grade chaos that I started

to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace, and ground on for miles

crossing weirdish wild space, headed I feared toward the most useless place. The

waiting place, where I waited for a sign to show me what I was supposed to do, or for

someone to tell me who I was supposed to be.

A year later, I moved to a new city and a new paragraph. I wasn’t feeling like

myself, and un-slumping was not easily done. In order to squish my own personal

mountain, I had to see a whole range of others. A few good friends and a new

perspective helped me realize that helping others is what I enjoyed doing. I was given

the opportunity to use my leadership skills to help people that never realized their own

potential, and those who were telling them they didn’t have any.

Suddenly, teenage years brought so many choices. From choosing which sports

to play, and who to be friends with, to more major problems such as figuring out how to

express myself. I looked up and down streets, looked ‘em over with care. About some I

said, I do not choose to go over there. I have a few good ideas of what I want to be, but

not a definite answer on where I want my life to go. What I do know is that I’ll always

keep moving.

In the end, this book gave me my not only my favorite word, but also my favorite

idea; possibilities. I could change the world, just as this book has changed mine.

Although I’ve grown and matured, much has stayed the same. I still believe in starting at

the end and eating dessert first, but I’ve finally reached a new beginning of possibilities.

Today is my day, I’m off to great places, I’m off and away.


I hope y’all like it! Let me know what you’re favorite book is down below! Love you guys!

-Aspen AKA A Child At Heart



The Sibling Tag!

Hey y’all! So today, I have a special guest! My brother…..Spencer! He’s my only sibling, and today we are going to be doing the sibling tag 🙂

Who’s The Oldest? 

Spencer: Me!

Aspen: What?!

Spencer: I’m more mature

Aspen: Lies!! (This led to a fifteen minute questioning period to prove that, I actually am WAY more mature then he will ever be. Kal and Ry, if you’re reading this, please leave a comment about this below)

What Do You Like and Dislike About Your sibling?

Spencer: Umm she’s annoying, very annoying and very smart Alec and never listens, to anything.

Aspen: *Glares* He’s a brat, and never pays attention, and is a LIAR. He’s also irresponsible and selfish. But there’s a few good things….. He can be super sweet and fun to hang out with. He’s also a great baker and basketball player.

Spencer:   You’re smart (He then proceeded to say, smarter than a cow and I smacked him. He’s just jealous of my brain power) You’re lovable, you read fast, and fun to hang out with.

What Do You and Your Sibling Have in Common? 

Spencer: We both play basketball and like video games.

Aspen: We have a similar temper which doesn’t work very well. We also laugh at a lot of the same things and love camping.

Would You Ever Name One of Your Kids After Them?

Spencer: *Insert weird look and shrug* I don’t know.

Aspen: Umm maybe? It’s a possibility.

Nicknames for Eachother? 

Spencer: Asp

Aspen:  Spence and bucko

Do You Think You’ll Be Close When You’re Older? Do You Want To Be? 

Spencer: To you? Yeah, sure.

Aspen: Yeah I’d like to be

What’s One Thing They’ve Taught You?

Spencer: You helped teach me how to read and play basketball.

Aspen: To lighten up sometimes, and how to play better offense.


This is a picture of what happens with us almost daily XD

I hope you guys liked this! If you have siblings (or a sibling figure) answer one of these questions below! Love y’all!

Home Alone

Hey y’all. So the end of 2nd quarter is tomorrow and I’m FREAKING OUT. I have all straight A’s and one C+ because my notebook up and disappeared. I’ve looked everywhere, even my friends house and it’s G-O-N-E.

Ughhhhh and I have a massive book report that’s due tomorrow in English that I may or may not have read the book for……..

Oh, and fun fact my legs stopped working this morning for some odd reason and I was FREAKING OUT. Like I couldnt move them or anything. It was terrifying. But after a while they fixed themselves so we’re all good.

We don’t have school this Monday so my family is going to be doing tile and our friends cabin, but since I’m a suffering cripple I get to stay home alone for the entire weekend. My friend Bex might come over Monday though and my twin is always a very viable option.

If y’all have any ideas on what I could do to keep myself entertained, please let me know!

Sorry this was boring, but I have a massive headache at the moment. Hope y’all are doing well. Love you 🙂 ❤

Part 2: Favorite Comments

Hey y’all, on the first part of my 100 followers post, I showed you guys some of the first comments on my my blog. On part 2, I will be posting some of my favorite comments 🙂

Note: I love and appreciate ALL of your comments, these are just a few I’ve picked out.

Elm (said):Yes it is, Aspen! It’s MORE than okay, because you’re seeing the fantastic person you are.

Luna (said): Sending all the hugs your way because NOBODY deserves this. I really hope you’ll be alright and recover well. Stay strong xo


Sunny (said): “More than you deserve”? Come on, Aspen!! I know you better than that. You deserve the very BEST, and you’ve been so strong through all of this. Everyone crumbles every once in awhile. I’m always here if you need some encouragement or just want to chat. And I’ll always be rooting for you!

AVerywkwardBlogger (said): No one deserves this. NOBODY. I feel really awful. Everyone is so vulnerable.
You know, if there is one tiny good thing I’ve picked up, it’s that you’re not as worried/apalled as the people close to you. Does that mean that it’s all just a cycle of sadness? People get sad for the patient, and the patient gets sad because he thinks he made his people sad, and it goes on.
I’m rambling too much. I hope you’ll follow your dad’s footsteps and be alright oh and merry christmas!

LyfWithEm (said): You’re right, you don’t need to apologise. What you’re going through is extremely tough, but you’re one of the strongest people I know on here and although you hate it so, so much, you’re strong enough to deal with it all. You don’t deserve ANY of this, but instead you deserve a long and loving life and maybe, just maybe, that will be granted to you. Always have hope. You always have us. We all love you.


Liv (said): Aspen…sometimes things are thrown at us to test our strength, and sometimes we stumble. But from hearing you talk since last July (I can’t believe it’s been that long) you’ve changed my life with your brave heart and a intrepid soul. YOU are amazing! And really, I can’t imagine a life without you now, because every day I get on and look for a Aspen post. So I’m praying every day for you to get better and I promise I will never lose hope! I love you!
Your blogging twin and friend,

ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO THANK SOMEONE ELSE. Some of you may know her as Sam O. Bscure, but we mainly talk over kik. Ever since we’ve started talking weeks ago, she asks me how I’m doing EVERY day and is soooooo supportive. She hasn’t been blogging in awhile, but I wanted to make sure I recognized her for how amazing she is! We get along so well, and you should DEFINITELY go check out her blog. Click  HERE NOW! Hmmm how about you post a comment saying anything you want, but sign off as AKA and then your name.

For example: “You’re amazing! AKA The Author”

Thanks to each and every one of you, you have no idea how much everything you say means to me! Look at how amazing these (and MANY more people are). I hope you guys are all doing well, if not lemme know, I’d love to help in any way I can 🙂

-Aspen AKA The Author


Hey y’all. So the day I left for my debate trip something happened that I kind of forgot to mention…..


I got 100 followers!!!! (Well technically 102…) Aaggh I’m so happy you guys, thank you so much!
You have no idea how much your support means to me 🙂

So for my 100 followers blog post, I decided to do 2 things that showcases you. Since this is all your fault, you guys deserve the credit.

This is part 1 where I put the first comment of some of my followers.


Elm (said): You are officially extremely awesome. And you write. BONUS! 🙂 Thank you for following,  by the way. I’m just going to go and look around your blog now XD

Isn’t this so very Elm like?

Dreams and Movie Screens (said): You were born four days after me! 🙂

She actually has the same birthday as my cousin….

Autumn (said): I hope your okay, and I hope you remember that the best thing is to stay positive even in the hardest of times x

This was right before my great grandma died, and it was greatly appreciated.

Liv (said): Oh my gosh…I’m in love with your writing!

Yep this is where it all started. And now she’s my blogging twin!

Sunny (said): Thanks for the nom! Can’t wait to complete it! Though you’ll probably have to email and remind me 😉

Haha this is a perfect representation of Sunny XD

LyfWithEm (said): Stay strong, from the little I have read so far of your blog I know you’ll be able to and you have me, along with lots of others, to help you through your journey. Have hope, we’re all here for you ❤

Wow for a first comment this was amazing. Just like Em 🙂

Dziey (said): This has got me in a travelly sort of mood! It seems like u had so much fun! I hope u have more fun this year!

Optimistic, adorable Dziey 🙂

Jenipeh (said): I just found your blog today and I’m so so sorry for what you’re going through. I feel like a complete jerk for complaining about my lower back and reading this post just reminds me so much of the time I saw one of my family members went through cancer. Please hang I’m there and even though we just knew each other like 10 minutes ago but please know that I am willing to listen to all of your rants, if you want to talk about it of course.

After posting the post she commented on, I really really needed this. And like she said we’d only known each other for 10 minutes! It’s a perfect example of how amazing and selfless she is.

These guys are also the top commenters on my blog! Sometime soon I will posting part 2 where I choose and upload my favorite comments!

Love y’all! (All 102 and of you) -Aspen AKA The Author

I’m Back!!

Hey y’all! So I just got back from Arizona and I’m EXHAUSTED.
I was throwing up almost the entire night and then we were still stuck on that thing for 13 hours. But I felt a little better in the morning.

During the trip I had an amazing time, it was so fun to hang out with the team and just get away.
Debate family is one of the best families. The support given to everyone is unmatchable. Like our motto says, “One team. One goal.”

I am so greatful for everyone on that team that I get to know. Which brings me to introducing you to a few people you need to know:

First off, Hala. Hala is well, my Hala-lujah. She’s one of the sweetest, strongest, smartest people I know even if it’s packed into a small adorable body.
She’s so caring but also jokingly sarcastic.
This trip it was awesome to spend more time with her, we even got matching shirts xD
I really appreciated her always making sure I’ve taken my medicine and a king how I’m doing.

Next, Cassey. Cassey is Hala’s best friend and they have been since elementary.
Cass is well, amazing. She has the most amazing vocabulary, random but true. I love how she always signs out what she saying or how she laughs so hard she is literally gasping for breath.
She’s always there to help in school, offer me knowledge, and back me up.

Last, but not least is Jess. Jess is Cassey’s older sister who is two years older than us. On the bus ride there and back I had the opportunity to get to know her really well.
She is actually a lot like me and we get along just great.
Her hilarious puns and jokes always make me laugh. Even if she is violent…..xD (Not really, it’s an inside joke)
She is also very smart and caring and always makes me smile.

I am so not ready to go back to school tomorrow….. but hey at least we all have the same lunch so I get to see them!
Love y’all
-Aspen AKA the Author


Yeah debate team put this in the fountain….. we think we’re funny…..

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