My mind is all over the place right now. Its been a simultaneously horrible, long, exhausting and freeing, good week.
I’ve made a lot of realizations about myself and other people and how they both go together.
I know you probably don’t read this anymore but in any case I’ll keep it anonymous.
A really close friend of mine and I got in a sort of fight and in the moment in rocked my world, but I woke up the next morning and realized that I was a lot better off by myself than I thought.
I still haven’t decided if the experience was positive or negative or if I even want to try and resolve it. Our relationship had been really important to me for a long time, but I’m unsure that anything will change even if we talk it out.
Right now I’m just keeping my options open and trying to relax and focus on me and ignore all the overthinking my brain is amazing at.
I’ve had a lot of mental health problems lately and that night is the closest I’ve gotten to making a bad decision in a long while. The worst part is that is was mainly because of other people that got involved than the actual situation with said friend.
The next morning I woke up almost mad at myself. Mad for almost ruining a future that means so much more to me than teenage drama.
I’m not really sure how this all will end to be honest, I’m just trying to make a decision that I won’t regret and also won’t hinder me getting better.
I’m still upset and hurt and angry and partially apologetic and my opinions change depending on the moment and how I feel.
Throughout it all I’ve had friends who have given me so much support and I am so grateful for them.
Have any of you guys ever gone through a “friend breakup”?