ONE YEAR!

Ahh, so today is a little crazy for me. Today marks one year since me and my boyfriend started dating which is actually insane.

I’m realizing I’ve never actually told the story of how we met and started dating and when is better than now?

Last May before graduation (the 18th & my parents anniversary to be precise) I got a snapchat from one of my best blog friends. However, it turned out to be one of his friends since they had switched phones. Right off the bat we talked non-stop.

So when I told him I was going to be in London in a few short weeks and meeting up with our mutual friend, he decided to come with! We spent the first day just sightseeing and it was so much fun!

2 days later E came by himself and met us in this restaurant by Buckingham Palace (and my mom and I may or may not have told my dad he was coming). By the time my family was getting on the Eurostar to Paris I knew I had a crush but was honestly trying to talk myself out of being irrational.

We started Skyping in Paris. While my family was sleeping I’d sneak out of the room and go sit on the stairs and we’d talk wayyy too long (even though he was still in school and I was walking like 10 miles a day traveling around).

Plot twist: Boy actually told me he liked ANOTHER girl so extreme confusion ensued while we continued to talk all of the time throughout me being in France and Switzerland as I tried to convince myself we were just friends (rude btw. jk,jk)

I guess long story short a year ago today I was in Venice when he told me he liked me and we started dating!

A lot of things have changed since then, but throughout it all he’s been right by my side and I can’t wait for every day after this one. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me E.

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Too Late

When is too late?

How do you know that something is irreparable?

I think this is what it feels like.

People always say “you’ll know” but all I do is feel.

I feel hurt, lost, scared. I feel angry, I feel independent, I feel so anxious.

But I have also decided that I won’t be convinced into thinking that I’m some monster because I am not always happy or calm. And that everything surrounding my mental health is personal and if it won’t be kept private than I will find people who do it keep it private.

Mental health is not a joke and it’s not just a cause for drama.

I just don’t know if I can still believe all of these things in this situation.