A Mormon’s Review of the Book 0f Mormon Soundtrack: Part One

Hey y’all! So the other day I was talking to some peeps and that Book of Mormon musical came up. A few bloggers have told me about it and so I decided that I just needed to listen to the songs already. I thought it’d be funny to review the songs and make a post of my reactions. And please just understand that these songs are just jokes and not the actual truth of the church, so take that as you will.

Here we go!

First song, “Hello!”   I mean it’s pretty accurate starting off… then it just get’s funny . Not much to say about this one, but it’s really fun to listen to. Now every time I say Book of Mormon I’m going to be singing it in my head.

Second song, “Two by Two”  This song starts with talking about where one guy wants to go on his mission and right off the bat I started laughing. We have this joke in the church that you’ll get sent to the one place that you don’t want to go. My friends mom was okay with anything but South America and got sent to Brazil. After that I mean even if they are joking, mission’s are very important, but I can definitely laugh at it.

And I wish this is how people received mission calls, you really just open a letter that tells you where your’re going. And the chances of you going with someone you know is basically impossible.

The “soldiers of the army of the Church” part just reminds me of this song we really sing that starts with “And we are as the army of Helaman…” so I’m going to be singing that all day now…

Third song, “You and Me (But Mostly Me)”   “I wanna be the Mormon who changed all of mankind” actually really makes sense in our culture somewhat, not the church itself but just people looking to go on missions. We all want to be super powerful and get a lot done, but it does sound crazy when you put it this way.

And the part that mentions being 19 to go on a mission is now incorrect technically, now boys can leave when they’re 18 (I’m convinced that’s why the hot guy population in Utah has decreased) and girls when they’re 19 instead of 21 now.

In my head I’m envisioning an Elder missionary (the one who has been in the area/ on their mission the longest) singing this to his new companion.

Fourth song, “Hasa Diga Eebowai”  Okay well right off I clearly do not support what the saying actually means xD

Ah, the Lion King’s reference. Well this song gets pretty graphic really fast but it’s not even a two minutes in and I’m already bored…

I can totally see some missionaries going somewhere foreign and hearing about all this stuff they have no idea about. It happens quite frequently actually, they come back with some pretty great stories.

Fifth song, “Turn It Off”   The beginning of this song with the whole no emotion thing reminds me of my dad sometimes xD The main part of this song that I don’t understand at all is how the first part with the no emotion got associated with the church at all…

The 2nd part I get, but this isn’t how I want to address that, so no comment… If you really want to know then you can private message me.

And I had to comment on the Utah Jazz part, because for the first time in forever they actually don’t totally suck. When I was younger they were so bad though.

Sixth song, “I Am Here For You”  Can I please start saying “Tomorrow’s a latter day?” I don’t really have anything else to say about this, it’s pretty short.

I mean not giving up is always a good thing, you can make a difference, yayy

Seventh song,“All American Prophet”  FINALLY, I’m so excited for this song. Let’s see how many Joseph Smith jokes it makes. Well I can’t say I’ve ever heard him called the blonde-haired, blue-eyed, voice of God.

Okay well I mean yes Joseph did speak to God and Jesus, but I’m really disappointed I didn’t hear a joke about his age. (He was 14 btw)

And I hate to get technical, but there’s actually 3 more parts (The Book of Mormon, Pearl of Price, and Doctrine and Covenants)

The joke about him finding the golden plates in the Hill Cumorah was pretty good. Ah , good old Angel Moroni. I mean he is pretty important, he’s on the top of all of the temples.

And paradise= Zion=Utah which  is why all of the pioneers came here! Good old, Salt Lake City. (That’s where I live too, just in case you didn’t know)  Too bad Joseph never made it. I’m assuming you guys haven’t heard the story of how he was martyred, it’s actually really interesting.

Ahahha! Big Mormon families! So true, not even going to lie. I mean not every Mormon has a big family, but a lot do.

Eight song, “Sal Tlay Ka Siti”  Well this is clearly supposed to be Salt Lake City, and I’m definitely saying it the other way now. Okay so we do have waterfalls, unfortunately no unicorns as far as I know…

*Me during a job interview* “Yes, I come from a village in Ooh-tah”

Oh yes, the goat meat here is great… and the Red Cross has flour? What? We got some great Red Cross buildings, but if you’re looking for food, the Road Home is probably a better option.

Man, I really wish SLC was as great as she thinks it is… it’s a great place to live but I haven’t seen very many golden thatched roofs…

Ninth song, Man Up”  I think my dad wrote the first part of this song. He definitely wrote it. Although it is very catchy, I’m going to have to start singing this to myself.

Well, maybe don’t just always follow the white boy.. I’ve done that before, it doesn’t always lead to salvation. Just saying.

And where did Orlando come into this whole thing? Does he just really like Florida?

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Well, that’s it for part one! I hope you guys enjoyed it! Comment down below if you want to see the part two. I had a lot of fun writing this actually, I got a good laugh out of it. Just to mention again, just because I’m laughing at or making fun of it doesn’t mean it agrees with the churches standards, beliefs, etc.

Love y’all! -Aspen AKA The Author

P.S. I’m pretty sure that Joseph Smith was more of a dirty blonde…

 

Friends, Football, Freaks, and Free Pie

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Hey y’all! I have to leave in about 15 minutes to my grandmas house because the whole family is meeting up for dinner. My mom and I made her famous sugar cookies into super cute Halloween and fall shapes for all the kids to decorate. It’s a tradition, and I love it.

Anyways, I am here to tell you what happened last night. It all started at the football game, Utah was playing Arizona. My brother didn’t come to this one, so I invited Lauren.  Arizona scored on the first play. So the entire crowd was in a bad mood already, but then we started doing good again and the STUPID FREAKING REFEREES were ridiculous! There were 2 times when we could have made a touchdown but Arizona’s player blocked our receiver illegally. And apparently the refs didn’t know that its called a pass interference. They were so dumb, we were all chanting, “Refs you suck, refs you suck” over and over again. We started scoring because we rock, and Arizona was being ridiculous (they play so dirty man) and the guy who sits behind us was calling them desert chickens because they were being cowards and it was hilarious. In the end, we won! And it was our head coaches Kyle Whittingham’s 100th career win!! (Sidenote: We are on our 5th string running back, because the first one retired mid season and the other 3 all got injured yesterday, pray for us)

Okay, football rant over xD

So after the Utes game we decided to go to Denny’s and it was around 12:30 am.
It was completely packed so Lauren and I went to the bathroom on when we came out there was this lady in the hallway thing laughing hysterically. My mom couldn’t get in the bathroom because it wouldn’t open and so she asked me if I locked it. And I was like, “yes mom I locked you out of a public bathroom” and the lady cracks up even more but it’s all chill, we just go back to our seats all normal like and order our food.

So at our table was my parents, me, Lauren, my dad’s friend, and his son.

To the left of us was a table of extent drunk dudes singing Katy Perry and one of them kept going off about avocado so when he got his avocado he was literally fist pumping and they kept saying the weirdest things. And one had a patch on the back of his Jean jacket that said “Alcoholica”

Then all of a sudden a waiter comes around and gives Lauren and I pie and tells us it’s from the lady in the bathroom. So we look up and a few tables over she’s staring at us. So we’re weirded out but eat it anyways and she continues go stare at us.

And then right across from us is a table of parents with a guy about our age with his Utes hoodie  pulled up over his nose and he glared at us the entire time. It looked like he wanted to hit me or something.

And then the table on the left of angry boy had 2 ladies and one guy. Throughout the night the 2 ladies kept looking at Lauren and I too. So we’re all getting kinda weirded out and have no idea what’s going on and it was just really weird but later on my dad heard one of the ladies tell her friend to stop looking at us because we were probably only 16.

By the time we left I was extremely creeped out and just wanted to crawl into bed. But at least I had a funny story to post…. ( the life of a blogger…)

I’m headed to my grandma’s to eat, thank goodness, I’m starving! Be on the lookout for 2 more posts I have planned! Love y’all! -Aspen AKA The Author

 

 

Bad Witch Jello by Little Aspen

Hey y’all! So yesterday I found this one book I wrote in elementary and it’s the greatest thing ever. Not even kidding. So I have uploaded pictures of it because it even has illustrations man. I was a pro.

Sidenote: I was going through the books of notes my class wrote to be on my birthday and omg guys all of the guys told me I was pretty and asked if I would play with them at recess. I had all the guys, what happened?!

*Clears throat* anyways onto the book:

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THE END. I hope you guys enjoyed this XD Love y’all!- Aspen AKA The Author

 

Thank You Note To My Mattress

Dear mattress,

I know we’ve only known each other for a few years, but I feel like I know you really well. I always enjoy the long hours we spend together each night. When I’m gone on vacation, I dream of you…. Memory foam, comfort, and warmth. But mainly home.

Thank you for always supporting my weight, on the hard days and the good. Thank you for countless hours where all I do is push you down. Especially when the memory of my shape left a mark in one side of you so I had to move to the left.

And thank you for soaking up my tears after everything that happens. For always providing a place that I know won’t let me down.

 

 

Well, guys. This was obviously sarcastic.. but truthful if that makes sense? Anyways I hope you all enjoyed this quick, different post!

AND once again, I have some serious news to share, but I’m not really sure how to say it.. Do you guys want to hear it? Should I share? What do you think?

-Aspen AKA The Girl Who Misses Her Bed

 

How To: Survive A Day Of School [Told By A Baby Elephant Rights Activist]

Hey y’all! So I know it’s taken me forever to get this post up, but it’s finally here! Make sure to follow, like, and comment I love getting to know all of you!

And here we go:

Object 1: Food

The first part of this is to bring some sort of breakfast if you don’t eat in the morning. I grab things like yogurt and breakfast bars, muffins, etc.

The second part, is snacks. Snacks are essential, and I can’t stress that enough. Goldfish are my personal favorite, but anything works. Just keep them in Ziploc baggies in your backpack, and you’re good to go!

Object 2: Headphones

This one isn’t as necessary, but in classes where it’s allowed I love jamming out while doing my work. *Cough* debate *Cough*

Object 3: Phone Charger

Somehow, my phone always loses charge during the day. I plug it in during our TA period and whatever other classes I sit by an outlet in.

Object 4: Gum

I love, love, love, having gum at school. You just can’t really tell anyone that you have it xD Greedy suckers always asking for my last piece 😉

Object 5: Cell phone

Okay, so as much as I love talking to my friends during class, I use my phone to look things up, check my grades, and ask about assignments.

These are a few tips:

1. If you have certain classes on different days (My school has A & B days) then only take your stuff for one day to save your back.

2. Always keep a easily accessed pocket filled with a pen(s) and or pencils.

3. If you’re absent get those assignments ASAP.

4. If you can’t figure out something then look other places.
Does the teacher have a website?
Do you have friends who take that class?
Can you find the answer online?

5. Realize that you have questions NO ONE can answer. And that all the things you’ve been learning are almost completely useless.

6. And then cry, just like you did last week when you had the same realization.

7. Then have the other identical realization that you have to just get over yourself because it’s only three years.

8. Then cry because it’s only three years and your not ready to grow up yet. College sounds exciting, but a day job? Not so much. *Shivers*.

9. And finally, once someone notices that your having a quarter-life crisis make up some stupid excuse as to why you were crying.

10. Smile crazily at this poor person you previously gave the excuse to because apparently the fact that parent elephants can’t pay for their  baby elephants to go to the doctor because they fell off of their unicycles isn’t sad.

Hahaha hah well I hope you liked this. The first part is serious btw, but I like how the second part ended.

Love y’all-Aspen AKA Baby Elephant Rights Activist 😉

The ABC’s of Being Home Alone

Hey y’all, so I have been home alone since Friday morning and will be until later tonight, so I decided to to an A-Z list of things or ideas that occur when you’re home alone! (Well, at least when I am)

Ask everyone for rides, because you can’t drive yet.

Binge watch Criminal Minds

Cook lots of yummy food

Dance around the house

Eat as much pie as you want

Find your mom’s secret chocolate stash

Go to a performance with your friend!

Have dinner with a family in your neighborhood

Invite your friends over

Just lay around

Keep thinking you hear noises upstairs

Listen to Pandora on loop for hours

Make many WordPress posts

Not wear any pants. It’s glorious.

Open the fridge and cupboards a million times

Procrastinate doing homework

Quit forgetting to take your pills……

Read, read, read, etc.

Stay up into the wee hours of the morning.

Talk to your twin who left  you for Idaho.

Unlock and relock the door a few times, just in case.

Visibly struggle to not think of every possible way you could be murdered, tortured, raped,etc.

Wash all of the dishes

Xeranthemum, a plant you found while searching for words that start with x

Youtube. So much youtube.

Zoom around the wood floors in socks

 

The next post I have planned, I am super excited to film. Yes, film! Stay tuned, next time on AKA The Author, Aspen goes deep with an interview on who someone really is.

Oh my gosh, I’m an idiot XD Love y’all-Aspen AKA The Girl Who is Apparently a Reporter

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