Christmas in London pt.1

January 7th, 2019

It’s currently 5:15 p.m. in London, 10:15 a.m. at home in Utah, and 1:45 p.m. in St. Johns which I am currently flying over.  I have just under 4 hours of this flight left before I have to catch a flight from Chicago to Denver and then Denver to SLC.

To put it simply, this has been one of the hardest days I’ve had in a long time, if not ever. So many poor strangers have been freaked out about why this random teenage girl keeps crying…on the train… and in the airport…and on the plane.

In case you didn’t know, I spent the last 3 weeks in London with my boyfriend and his family for Christmas. And today I had to leave him there and go home, which is over 4,000 miles away.

This morning I woke up at 6:45 a.m. for one last cuddle sesh before we had to get up. I said goodbye to his parents who were amazing to me the whole trip. I’m so grateful that we both have families who are extremely supportive of our situation.

These last 3 weeks have been some of the best of my life. The 4 months we spent apart were worth it within 10 seconds of seeing him. I want to write about everything we did (and I will) but I’m just making myself cry even more thinking about it right now. I pray these next few months fly by.

January 11, 2019

Update: It’s a few days later and I am currently back at school in St. George (unfortunately). The days are still really hard, but they’re getting easier. I really want to write about the trip while it’s still fresh in my mind BUT there’s a ton so I think I may do 3 separate posts, one for each week.

Update pt. 2: It’s now the end of January, and it is still getting easier although some days are really hard as they always will be, but I had such a blast and I want to make sure that I have record of it here!

  • Dec. 18th

After landing at Heathrow airport, I had to go through customs which I swear took about 5,000 years. I finally got to see him and may or may not have actually ran into his arms *cliche, I know* and I was honestly in shock. We headed back to his house after a few pigeon jokes and lots of hugs.  Nothing much happened other than I got to meet his sister and mom, and then later that night his dad came out to say hi while we were in the hot tub!

  • Dec. 19th

Wednesday morning we got up and got ready to go into London! We decided to walk around Embankment which is where we went the first time we met! We walked over a bridge, past Big Ben and Parliament and then down to Trafalgar Square and into Covent Garden. It was all decorated for Christmas and it was so so cute. We went into a little fancy shop for afternoon tea a.k.a hot chocolate and scones with clotted cream and jam (I’m in love). Later that night 2 of his friends came over and we played pool, and even though I’m horrid it was still really fun.

  • Dec. 20th

We stayed at home and watched Back to the Future, one of his favorite movies that I had never seen before (I know it’s basically a crime). The rest of the day we just hung out and had a chill day spending time together.

  • Dec. 21st

Earlier in the day we went to Sainsbury’s to pick up a few last minute gifts for his family and on the way home we picked up shakes and they were so good (even if I was freezing). Later that night we went to a pantomime of Beauty and the Beast with his whole family and I met his older brother and his wife. The show itself was really funny and I’m really glad I got to experience it! Especially since it included getting a picture of Ewan wearing a sparkly headand (I may have forced on him) and a Christmas sweater.

  • Dec. 22nd

Saturday we got up early to meet two other bloggers at waterloo station. After walking in circles for a good half an hour we accidentally found embankment. Just like a few days earlier we walked to Trafalgar square and Covent garden. After that we went to Leicester square, Oxford street, Regents street, and Soho which was all decked out with a Bohemian Rhapsody theme. There were huge neon signs of lyrics going down the streets, it was so cool. Eventually we had to say goodbye to them and headed to meet his other friend and his girlfiend to go ice skating! While we almost got taken out by a few children (and adults) it was still a blast and I loved hanging out with his friends.  

  • Dec. 23rd

In the morning we woke up to him getting a uni offer! It was the first one so it was really exciting! After that we got ready to go and meet his dad’s side of the family at his grandparents house. I met his cousins, grandparents, and aunt and uncle who were all so nice.  I was nervous at first, but they made me feel welcome immediatly. Afterwards, Ewan and I walked over to Primrose hill which has this really pretty view of London. The lights were all on down the hill and I just remember being so content just holding his hand. On the way back we got caught in the rain and ended up speed walking back to a train station, still laughing of course. Later that night we watched my favorite Christmas movie with his family,  How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

  • Dec. 24th

During the day we just hung out, but later that night we went to dinner with some of his family friends! They were all really nice too and the food was really good. Even though I was sick, I had a great time (especially since the waiter was really nice and brought me some mint tea).  I couldn’t stop coughing so we went back home to rest and I got a Christmas burrito (A.K.A. wrapped in blankets) which is one of my favorite thing, especially when mixed with cuddles. Honestly I was a coughing mess for a lot of the days but I didn’t even mind because he was there taking care of me and getting water approx. every 15 seconds.

  • Dec. 25th

I woke up to E’s grandma telling me that it was Christmas! We grabbed the pillowcases/ stockings from in front of the bedroom doors that were filled with presents (it was a different tradition I got to experience!) and headed down to the kitchen with the rest of the family. We spent the rest of the morning opening presents (which his family spoiled me wayyyy too much and I’m so thankful for everything). I brought over a few different foods and it was fun to see everyone try them. The salt water taffy was specifically a hit which was cool because it is made right in Salt Lake! Although my favorite part was giving Ewan his gift (a wooden watch with the day we started dating engraved on the back) and my favorite gift was obviously the earrings he got me (they’re super cute and heart shaped and yeah I haven’t really taken them off tbh).

Later in the afternoon I got to skype my family and saw my brother get the crested gecko he wanted really bad. It’s name is Mushu and he’s so cute! After his dad’s parents came over and I got to experience my first English Christmas dinner! It was really good but it was SO much food ( even though Ewan ate like half of mine).


I missed my family a little bit, but overall it’s one of the best Christmases I’ve ever had! His family was amazing and I had so much fun meeting everyone and just being able to spend time with him. We did a lot of other things in the next two weeks that I can’t wait to write about next.

-A.K.A. The Author






From 4, 858 Miles to Zero

Hey y’all! Since the last post I have now moved to St.George and finished my first week of college! It’s been crazy, and fun, but that’s a post for another time. I’m clearly behind but I thought that I would still write about when my boyfriend, Ewan, came to Utah a few weeks ago!

ALSO QUICK INTERVENTION: In the midst of all the craziness going on, I didn’t even realize that I passed the THIRD ANNIVERSARY OF MY BLOG. When I started writing as akatheauthor 3 years ago I never thought it would have led me to all the things it has today. I’m so thankful and I love you all! 

So it all started when he flew in on Tuesday night, *flashbacks to me freaking out in my car in the airport parking garage and snap chatting Lauren frantically about how to not get lost*. Luckily I actually figured out where I was going and even remembered how to get back to my car (yay me) all whilst my brain was going 100 million miles an hour xD. After the airport we had to head straight to meet my parents at the movie theater to watch Mission Impossible Fallout, which was actually pretty good even though I’m pretty sure we spent most of it whispering to each other. Also like can you say that your first kiss with your S.O. happened at the airport?? Didn’t think so…

The next day we spent the morning dancing around the kitchen while making pancakes before driving downtown to see Temple Square. We also got a tour of the conference center from this really cute old lady. After finally tracking down my car in one of the 5 zillion parking garages we headed to hike Ensign Peak which has a view of all of Salt Lake City! That night we went to Texas Roadhouse, one of my favorite places for dinner with my parents and I may or may not have been the mean (but hilarious) gf and told the waiter that it was his birthday so he had to sit on the saddle and have everyone sign to him.

Thursday we met my mom, and some of my aunts and cousins at Silver Lake and then hiked to Twin Lakes. All of my cousins are little girls so it was funny to see their reactions to him and at one point the youngest, Ivy (who I was giving a piggy back ride) whispered in my ear to ask if he was my boyfriend.

Friday we went to Lagoon, which is an amusement park. I love love roller coasters and heights and everything that most adrenaline junkies and even though Ewan isn’t the biggest fan of heights he was a good sport and let me drag him around. We even went on the scariest one, Cannibal and he only told me he hated me a few times xD. My cousins were also there and by the evening Ivy had completely warmed up to him ( it was adorable) and we had done whoopsy- daisy with her across the entire park. That night my family made the 3 hour drive to Bear Lake in my dad’s truck so in the back seat I was in between Ewan and my little brother who both proceeded to pass out- on me.

Saturday we woke up in my favorite place on Earth and went boating. Ewan and I went tubing together and everyone on the boat thought it was hilarious because he was just sitting there taking the waves whilst my body was flopping all over the place as per usual, but it’s still tons of fun. On the way back to the marina the waves were crazy bumpy so my back started hurting really bad and I had to lay down across the seats, but he was so sweet about it. I tend to grip my arm really hard to try and distract myself with pain in a different area but when he noticed he grabbed my hand. Later that night we got to go to a demolition derby which is essentially where a bunch of crappy cars go into an arena and crash into each other until only one can still move – and yes its just as western and redneck and American as you think it is- and I love it. It was so fun to be able to show him something he had never experienced before but was something I have really liked growing up.

Sunday morning we drove into Idaho to hike Bloomington Lake which is super pretty. We also got the best shakes ever from the gas station in Bear Lake (it’s a hidden gem) the raspberry is the classic favorite but turns out they have a really good mint one too! I proceeded to get my butt kicked in even more rounds of Go Fish ( I blame my bad luck) before the boys went golfing and I just tagged along. I did get to drive the go cart which is really fun but it doesn’t go fast enough, and at one point I was elbow deep in freezing water with soaking wet shoes to get one of my dad’s golf balls.

Monday was Ewan’s birthday! It was really fun to be there for it even if I got beat in even more card games (seriously people). We had a long drive home which we spent listening to music and sing/dancing to each other whilst my parents gave us weird looks, but it was so much fun. We stopped at a really good restaurant called the Beehive Grill for lunch and I got to talk to his mom and sister and they’re so sweet, I’m really excited to meet them!! Before going home we stopped at Sam’s Club to get a cake and tried on these really funny costume animal heads which is now one of my favorite pictures of us because it’s super silly. Then fast forward to my mom walking in on us making out (yikes man) and then falling asleep watching Insidious because we stayed up way too late way too many times before some really yummy cake. And completely random fact but we were playing some NBA game on the PlayStation with my brother and I somehow made a shot from all the way across the court on accident (#baller).

Tuesday we went with my best friend Lauren and little brother Spencer to the Great Salt Lake and met up with my aunt and cousins who live nearby.  We climbed black rock and then went to a rope swing in the middle of nowhere where I proceeded to not only trip over a log, slip down the entire side of a mud hill, but also get rope burn and massive handprint size bruises on my thighs (pure talent I’m telling you) Ohhh, and then on the way back to the car I’m pretty sure I got bit by a spider but my toe swelled up really big and it really hurt. After that whole ordeal we swam in the mill pond and then went back to my aunts house to watch my uncle and his cousins rope some cows on horseback which is always cool. Then we rushed home and threw some pillows and blankets into the truck before heading to the drive-in movies for our first official date! We stopped at 7- Eleven for some snacks and it sounds cringy and stupid and I’m not generally one for cutesy things, but that night was honestly perfect. Just laying in the back of the truck watching the movie all cozied up was something that you could literally dream about (and there were even stars out!)

The next afternoon he helped me brush up on my soccer (football, sorry) skills, that don’t exist. And then we went to Topgolf with Spencer and Lauren again (another sport I have exactly zero skill at), but it was still so much fun. After we picked up Lauren’s little brother and went to my favorite type of store on the planet- a cookie dough shop called Dough Co. The flavor of the month was butterbeer and it was actually really good! Later that night all my friends came over to meet him while we roasted marshmallows (S’mores are another thing he had never tried before). It was pretty funny because they were all saying how weird it was to see being affectionate even in the slightest because I usually wouldn’t even hold hands with someone in front of them, but with him I didn’t even care. They all really liked him (which I knew they would) and I laughed way too much going over all of our old inside jokes and more.

Thursday was our last full day together so we opted to do something just ourselves and head up into the canyon again. We stopped at Wal-mart (for the true American experience) to pick up some snacks (raspberry filled, powdered sugar donuts for the win) before driving to Little Cottonwood. The road was closed so we ended up finding a little river just off the side of the road to have lunch at. It was so much fun to just sit there talking about the trip and the future and making a bunch of dumb jokes. Literally no matter what we’re doing he can always make me smile or laugh, its a little ridiculous to be honest (like let me be moody… jk, jk)  After our hiking adventure, I took him out to meet my grandparents where we played more card games before heading home to my favorite dinner everrrrrrrrr, 7-Up chicken!! Ewan liked it (and goldfish) so I didn’t have to break up with him, thankfully 😉 Then I realized that he had still never had an ice cream sandwich so in order to stop a full on crisis we ran to the grocery store to grab a box and 2 journals which we now write in (almost) daily to each other because we’re just super cute that way.  Before heading home we made one last stop at a lookout point in just off the highway to *ahem* look at all the city lights (the view is actually amazing).

The next morning was bittersweet from the get-go. I turned on Thor but we ended up just cuddling and falling asleep which in my book, is pure bliss. Eventually we had to face reality and pack his bag to go home. The last stop before the airport was a little restaurant called Iceberg that has really good fries and fry sauce, but most importantly Grasshopper (mint) shakes which just happen to be Ewan’s favorite. (Sidenote: he actually ate the fry sauce-so proud). The shake was amazing (and HUGE) as always, we didn’t even finish it between the two of us. We had one last car jam session that involved me driving with one hand because I didn’t want to let go of his (drive safe, kids) xD. Once we got to the airport all hopes of not crying kind of went out the window and I’m sure I looked like a mess. I definitely hugged him one too many times, but walking away was honestly one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. I already hate goodbyes, but this was a particularly difficult one.

However, as sucky as that was, overall the trip was an ABSOLUTE BLAST and I can’t wait til I see him again because ever minute was a party and I laugh so much there’s a chance I may actually have ab muscles at some point. I’m not one for sappy lovey dovey stuff but then this one boy came along and now “aw” is part of my regularly used vocabulary, Skype is my most used app, and couple things don’t make me want to throw up xD And I know you’re reading this so just thought I would say I miss you and I love you, I have literally zero patience so having to wait so long to see you is killing me, but it’s all worth it. Don’t forget that goldfish build character and that dino nuggets are life, truffle butter is my fav, and you know the rest 😉



Congrats if you made it to the end of this super long post! Thanks for reading, I love y’all!

-Aspen AKA The Author

I Miss You

Are you somewhere out there, thinking the same thing as me?

Are you perched at your windowsill, head in your hand, staring at the moon? Are you thinking about me, and praying we could fix our problems?

Or have you moved on now? Even after what you said. If so, could we be friends now? Or would it still be too hard?

I still don’t understand you know. How someone could love you so much that they have to leave. Because I wasn’t anything special, but I loved you. I just… couldn’t. Not then. And not even now.

I don’t wish it never happened. Even I could see that it was going to eventually. But I wish we could have worked past it. But we were too attached. So attached we couldn’t stand to stand in the same state.

The last thing I ever did was slap your cheek. Well, the last thing I did in person. The last time I ever talked to you was your birthday. It’ll be 5 months tomorrow. The longest amount of time we’d ever gone without talking since I was 11.

Christmas was different without you this year. No spontaneous snowball fights where we end up tackled together in the snow. No memories of the best hot chocolate we’d ever drank. Last year, Christmas was amazing. But you ruined it. Ruined it by kissing me, after everything we’d gone through to get back to that point.

I was furious. Furious that you would throw it all away, furious that even after that I didn’t want you to leave. That maybe I didn’t even want you to stop.

But it was too soon. Sometimes I think about what our future could have been. But right now, that’s never going to happen.

I don’t regret my decision, I know I did what was best for the both of us.

But I still miss it all. I miss laying in your arms all night, laughing at our own stupid jokes. I miss having crazy impromptu dance offs. I miss how you sing country music and I miss your cowboy boots. I miss how your green eyes looked in the morning, when you looked at me. I miss how Millie and Eric made jokes about us. I miss kicking your butt or getting my butt kicked in basketball. I miss how your hands were rough but calming. I miss how you loved my craziness. I miss running my hands through your hair. I miss talking to you about anything I wanted to. I miss how your lips tasted of hot chocolate and mint.

I just miss… you.